Blended Living

• rearranged my laptop stand and monitor in my bedroom and its not quite right yet
• which feels much like everything lately
• not inertia but a step sideways perhaps to a new perspective
• but not quite comfortable or feeling better yet
• was a sports milestones weekend as
• Jeter eclipsed the Yankee hit record
• Serena yelled her way out of the semifinals
• last second scoring in the Broncos included a tip and lucky TD catch
• Federer looked like he was master in command only
• to be surpassed himself the next day
• which leaves me wondering how to feel about it as
• I admired his fitness and strategy and mental fortitude
• only to read it online that he lost after I gave up watching the second set thinking
• that it was all but over and tired of
• watching the Federer vise close in on his opponents
• now I wish I recorded the match
• but that is how chance is sometimes… like
• the friend that almost ran into me with his car turning on 86th street
• as I stared up at my fantasy home
• contemplating the staggering sums of money to fulfill that dream
• and wondering why I stopped running regularly this summer suddenly
• but have to concede to the idea of the fun run being the start of my fall running season
• rather than the goal at the end
• the news lately accentuates a sense of things not being quite right
• with the Yale student’s latest creating doubt about many things
• yet this is the precise moment to renew faiths and beliefs
• but the mind wanders as I try to exercise some mind control
• my own mindfulness that is, not over someone else while
• I fold clothes but the touch of cotton
• and the smell of detergent and sights of colors isn’t
• enough to keep me here and now without struggle
• still the clothes are folded sooner than expected and further down
• my stream I think about the Broke American whom I
• know only as an avatar in a forum
• but his blog about consumerism and addictions and weight loss
• clues me into how much he is trying to do and all at once
• the setting sun looked marvelous from my neighbors roof deck
• as we consumed some moderately priced beer from Whole Foods
• and we spoke of many varied things and it struck me that I felt so strongly
• that our near future, that is the next few years will test all of us
• yet things will come out OK as I remain
• on the optimistic side of realism
• but many events do trouble me.

Uncategorized SoC

• Its late and the quiet surrounds me
• I put on the funny Koss earbuds that block out external sounds and before I turn on the MP3 player its even quieter…
• such aural isolation can frighten yet it feels so good right now
• were my ears ringing all this time and I didn’t hear it over the NYC din?
• such thoughts and quests can wait
• I feel relief that the day is put to rest or will be soon
• the days filled with productive work, hard running, and strengthened relationships stretch my life
• like a rubber band one way
• to offer such restful sleep when my lively day yields to night and subconsciousness
• as the rubber snaps to the other side
• sure there are concerns and worries and the thoughts that pile on
• yet my resilience is so strong today that I know they will be tackled tomorrow
• if life is a football game, the ball was advanced today
• and then there is time to rest and think of the cheerleaders dancing their enticement
• and let the strategy come to me in my sleep for the next play
• but life isn’t a football game exactly
• we don’t have sponsors to support us
• nor do we have to cater to their brands
• we are in a way our own best cheerleader and sponsors
• its that quiet part of the cycle
• when we can hear everything that whispers inside
• the voices that yearn for attention
• the shouts of needs and screams of hurts upon our bodies and minds and souls
• the enticements leaked into our psyche by carefully NLP’ed ads
• you know the ones that resemble late night infomercials except that they run inside our skulls
• and they key in on our personalized fears and desires
• tricky aren’t they?
• these voices need to be listened to and put to rest, lest they come back again louder in the next refrain
• like a line at a new restaurant where you see a line and think that its important and decide you must eat there
• except you are standing in the line in front of and behind yourself
• be careful to notice this next time
• lest you fear or fool or drool yourself into thinking something is more important than it really is
• and now for some visions of gumdrops and lollipops and cheerleaders …

SoC quiet, shhh, SoC

• Stream of consciousness pict or random picture to be added here later
• although I seem to fade in and out more lately
• partly sick, partly time shift, not sure why else
• so this is a stream of non-consciousness, too
• learned a new word today: portmanteau
• not sure if I knew it once before, but had to look it up just now
• it means a blend of words – like brunch or spork or frenemy
• I suppose it also pertains to the celeb couples like bennifer or billary
• but brunch is my favorite- especially on a warm sunlit lazy weekend
• slweekend ?!? not sure how to pronounce that one
• maybe this one coming will be swleeky…
• but it will be a feat to fit it in
• as I see more on the to do list than I am taking off
• like the remaining 3 tasks on tonight’s list that I didn’t get to
• and all that talk of bad news has many down and
• the rain today brought me down a notch or two
• so maybe I’ll have more energy SatSun… freedays… well, this weekend
• I could use a real recharging of the batteries
• maybe a good book, great coffee,  some sun, and a kickback attitude
• followed by or preceded with a nice run
• came across an optimism exercise
• which could be a twist or tweak on morning pages
• its to write about the very best you; that is if things worked out well like you’d get a lucky break or two
• or you have the discipline and wherewithal to just do the things that would be good for you and make you a better you
• to just describe yourself that way in the present tense once a week for about a month
• put it in the positive, spin it, spell out the best version of yourself
• its been shown that this improves moods and improves the chances that this future you comes true
• also the persistent recurring stuff (from week to week) is perhaps the stuff you care about more
• rather than let our brains run on autopilot and ruminate about the negative or what fears may never come
• which I guess is a primitive way to keep us alive but it doesn’t help much in this society
• when it creates a downward spiral towards a self-fulfilling prophecy
• and I think that in the coming months and years, our outcomes will be shaped equally by our attitudes as much as external forces
• so start a optitude habit.   change that ‘tude for the better.

SoC, personal SoC

• Guess slumdog becomes a part of the vernacular
• didn’t see it
• but might add it to the Q
• the nonexistent Q, which I will create soon
• at Netflix probably
• I kinda liked the opening, it was creative if a bit cheesy
• but I guess I have a soft spot for musicals
• the magic of DVR allows me to see the rest later
• but will likely be hard to not hear about all the awards tomorrow
• didn’t create a SoC graphic, but maybe I’ll just insert some of my own photography randomly
• as I couldn’t resist buying that camera I kept eying last week
• its a bit smaller than my other DSLR-like camera
• so I’ll likely have it by my side most of the time
• it also takes 720p video, which I’m not sure how I’ll use
• but some nice mood, or B roll stuff could be good to spice up some website ideas I keep kicking around in my head
• a friend’s site – a SMF Bboard inspired the writing of that last fiction piece
• the guidelines were 60 minutes of writing or during lunchtime
• which is nice to write and let stuff go – like helium balloons (without the pollution side effects)
• just type away and see where it leads you
• but the idea for that last piece was inspired partly on a subway ride
• and the mood was set from the nightly news
• was thinking about making a randomizer that takes topics from news, websites, blogs and randomly spits out a topic to write about
• could be fun to do, writing is really just like anything else – the practice makes it easier and better
• another idea would be to tag team writing things
• spit out a paragraph or two, and pass the baton
• I’d also like to write an entire episode of a fav TV show
• its likely more work than I want to do, but in the end it could be very entertaining
• picture 2-6 people, some pizza, a white board or similar and a few keyboards
• could be a couple hours of fun, just have to agree on which show
• and there will likely be many other ‘rules’ and guidelines created as you go
• other writing ideas that came up were
• random characters from history meeting or running into each other at the supermarket
• like what would Hitler and Ghandi say picking up a quart of milk?
• or Hillary Clinton and Miley Cyrus, or Harry Potter and Dirty Harry?
• it could be fun if it grabs ya

SoC Oscars, SoC, writing

• wow what a warm weekend
• and I didn’t get the chance to run, but took the opportunity to fit in a couple nice walks
• played some poker
• met a new player
• that is a free spirit, or seemed to be one
• drank more beer than I have in a long while
• and surprisingly I had the headache before the game and felt fine the day after
• despite the shortened, disrupted sleep, and strewn beer bottles in my wake
• that urge to buy something is still there, while I (the other me) pretends to listen
• and may in the end win out and I’ll find myself with a new camera, monitor, and TV
• but not today
• I have 27 books out from the library, one of which I read a bit from as I was the first to go “all in” and get knocked out
• as I was complimented sideways as being so smart -> because I read so much -> because I get knocked out of Texas Hold’em so early
• I used to think I could play poker better
• but it “wasn’t in the cards” last night
• while walking saw some more images I would have loved to photo
• but no camera on me at the time
• played with forum / BB software – have an idea for a new project
• and I’m excited
• trashed FB a bit recently, and then it reminded me of a birthday
• which I found useful, but I remembered already, still I might not the next time
• these modern conveniences are such harsh mistresses
• as shows fall off the bottom of my DVR list
• I get more email than I can possibly read in any given day
• as I search for more things I’d like to learn about to
• borrow more books and I hit the limit at the library
• but at least I’m mostly not paying fines at the NYPL
• which reminds me there is another site I have to login to before I sleep…

SoC, Social conventions life, poker, SoC

• sleep – these darks days have contributed to me going off schedule
• its late, but a quick nap has me wide awake…again
• that computer book on powerpoint will likely do the insomniac trick
• middle east is at it again- that’s depressing if you let it get to you
• so much for trying to get in a library fine-less year
• made it 5 days, maybe next year
• all things seem to come in waves, and reserved books at NYPL is no exception
• trying to read more and faster, but can’t seem to cover all my interests
• should minimally scan all the books first, so I can better prioritize
• first attempts at a better reading/diversion/exercise rotation has been good
• this was first thought off during my trading as a living period
• chunking by setting routine breaks actually allows me to digest more information or get more done
• which may seem counterintuitive at first
• but yet it works
• and burns some extra calories during the day as a bonus
• combined with a steady water drinking habit
• it becomes a nice detox benefit too
• I like the buddhist concept of good and bad seeds in all of us
• just that we need to acknowledge the bad seeds
• and nurture the good ones more
• otherwise we find ourselves doing bad things for no good reasons
• like watching TV for hours and hours to dull our senses
• or eating all the Ice Cream
• or shopping for yet another thing we don’t have money or space for
• or worse…
• its OK and actually very healing to notice these trends in us, and actually smile when we catch ourselves and postpone that bad automatic desire or craving
• and take a deep breath in and let it out with a smile
• which is an addictive habit but in a good way
• as I notice I’m smiling more because random strangers are smiling back at me
• I came across a nice quote today
• Random Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty
• I helped someone carry groceries for a ways
• she was receptive to the help
• which is more rare than you’d think sometimes
• as the world conspires to cause people to be so suspicious sometimes
• but she thanked me with a smile
• you know recessions can be bad things, but they can be good things if you make it so
• like it causes you to focus on some more important things

Blended Living, Rants, SoC, health, personal chunking, goals, resolutions, SoC

• Market looks like it may be building a base to make a move up
• but tomorrow may show us if SP500 has a floor at 900
• dollar made a turn and moved 10 cents quickly (vs Eur)
• Oil has dropped under 40 despite OPEC cutting back production
• I think Oil in the 30’s is a great opportunity for a buy and hold for a few months
• sell when it makes 50-100%, might take a few months to about a year and a half
• still think the market bottom will be sometime in the spring or summer
• unless there is some major sea change event
• like another war, major attack, or aliens landing
• states are being crunched in the middle  between
• federal policies that are shrinking funds and
• rising unemployment rates
• which could hit 10%
• the MTA raising rides 23% is a huge slap in the face of NYers
• Madoff news is dominating attention
• its the witch hunt and will be the poster child of this downturn
• like Enron was
• want to play with phpBB to launch a way to record predictions
• and other market news and ideas
• new HD channels appeared on my cable box
• but many of the content is still SD
• that’s annoying
• I’m becoming an HD snob
• but blue ray is still too expensive.
• and they have to fix that long load time thing
• 42+ inch 1080p LCD and blue ray player with DVD recorder for under a grand
• that’s my price point.  maybe 2009?

Predictions, Rants, SoC gadgets, market, Predictions, SoC

• Is it really “man created in God’s image”, or god created in Man’s image?
• Is it a fools errand to seek God, or rather to find god in us?
• One person’s dogma, is another’s myth, blind faith is so dangerous
• I’d like to take snippets of song lyrics and make a play – not necessarily a musical
• [this is a stream of consciousness- and my focus is that fleeting]
• entrain, entrain what is my perfect rhythm, my natural melody?
• who to dance with?
• I think that was the market bottom for the year
• it be nice to have a dog again, but the responsibility is daunting
• 40 days left?  Can I hit that goal?  Have to ramp it up.
• if only we took the literal figuratively, and vice versa
• where is the beauty?
• the park in the morning was beautiful
• have to do those morning pages
• fire up the new computer
• move the zune over
• setup the laptop for the morning pages
• subscribe to that drawing site?
•  netflix?
• enough

Rants, SoC, personal Rants, SoC

I’m watching my DVR and thinking how it was a time freeing technology at its onset.  Humorously, later on after programming in all my favorite shows and being at the mercy of finite video storage space and near infinite interests, I remarked with a colleague that I am in a race to see all the shows on my DVR before they “fall off the bottom”.  What freed me has enslaved me now.

On this viewing, John Updike is being interviewed by Charlie Rose and the topic of getting better at your craft in later years is being discussed.  This coincides with his ‘Widows of Eastwick’ which is a 30 year sequel to ‘Witches’.  (I wonder would “Witches” the movie be a good candidate for blue Ray viewing?)  The topic of how Clint Eastwood getting better as a director and actor comes up, how he might be the exception.   They mention how conductors get better in age and perhaps its because of all the arm movements that helps them live such long lives.

My mind escapes to wondering if that is purely the physical, or is it perhaps a clear example of blended living (the act of conducting involves the left and right brain, the physical, emotional, and perhaps spiritual).  Then I wonder if the Wii games will foster a new generation of longer lives.  Is there a Wii conductor game with New York, Philadelphia and other great cities’ symphony versions?  What a contrast to Grand Theft Auto pick your city version.  I doubt there is a Musical Conducting for Dummies book.  I think about adding some workouts with music and a lot of arm movements.  I wonder if Yoga is a starting point for a new workout, or best left alone as it is. [Most enduring multicentury  things are fairly mature]

Its fun to allow this SoC (stream of consciousness) to run along, until it becomes senseless gibberish (have I lost you already dear reader ?)  At many other times it is really true original thought.  Looking for the crevices between disparate fields, new combinations of old and current, east and west, modern technology and old world thought.  Some (most?) SoC could go into morning pages.

“Time Shifting” has been a fun read so far, and as it hasn’t seemed to be slow, I’ve spent more time reading 65 pages than most other books.  Ironic for the topic and title.  I guess in alot of my other reading there is so much overlap that I can pretty much scan past whole chapters but not in this one.  More details on this topic to follow.

Have you gotten tired of all this negativity about the global recession yet?  Unfortunately more bad news is likely to follow, as more jobs are lost.  Hope you stay solvent and ride this out.  It is after all a cyclical business the economy. Boom follows bust eventually – just like the seasons. It reminds me of the concept of cyclical time and linear time in “Time Shifting”.  There is growth and rest, not an endless series of higher highs.  Cultures that resist their societies’ tug for linear time thinking are happier.  That will be an essential ingredient to a good blended living recipe.  Otherwise no endless supply of time saving devices like the DVR will answer the rising need.  Its like time inflation.  Are you under time poverty?  Be here now. Be happy.

Rants, SoC, personal DVR, Now, Rants, SoC, Time Shifting