Blended Living » Uncategorized

SoC #28

John — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 05:58:02 +0000

Its cold and late and dark and many things seem out of sorts
not simply the physical but others
in my newly reorganized bedroom I replugged in my DVD recorder
and haven’t updated the clock so the blinking 12:00 beckons
by the second and the rational side of me knows that its just another
chronological display and I just haven’t found my way to do it and the spare 5 minutes to punch in the correct time
but its like a symbol for how things are lately
it could just take a few minutes but its not really urgent
so let it blink…
its little visual addition to the otherwise dark room dimly lit by the glow of a small netbook is just enough to be noticed on my periphery
I wrongly over react and try to reign in my awareness
to pull in my antenna so as to not notice the incessant calling of noon or midnight but
such little things can teach us to narrow our view like when our brains don’t get enough oxygen
and the tunnel starts to cave in on us
except this is our attention to the here and now
and contributes greatly to the enjoyment of life
or lack thereof
such little acts of attention towards ourselves and others
tip our emotions between those that add to our energy
and those that tear it down
I wish to have the words and deeds that could enlighten my comrades in their harsh times
my thoughts that go in and out with each of my slow even breaths
perhaps they can fill in the blank thats in my little packet of intention with the words or thoughts
or feelings that would envelop them like a warm blanket
a spiritual hug if you will
that says it will be OK
and its just a blinking light.

SoC #27

John — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 11:23:35 +0000

its strange to wish for somethings and have them appear so regularly sometimes
it makes you think that you should have been more ambitious
I envisioned scrap wood and acrylic pieces and they appeared on my walks
that weekly metrocard that appeared when my legs got tired
the exact piece of plywood I’m using now as a base for a lightbox
perhaps I should be more selective in my visions
that white translucent # 2447 plexglass arrived a day early and I cut and assembled the
back and sides of the lightbox – I wish I could cut a straighter line
with the jigsaw, but given the limited woodworking projects so far
its not that bad, or the sander straightens what the jigsaw wrought
its fun to make something that involves LEDS, acrylic and wood working
which really is a foundation for future projects and
I don’t know if this something new and can’t be bought elsewhere
or if it will in the end prove to be something that just seemed a great idea
still as lightboxes go, this will be fairly cheap compared to pre mades
next steps are to check spacing and quantity of flat white LEDs and to figure
out how to assemble them – either use PCBs or just connect them
directly to the plywood base somehow
picked up a shop vac that will connect somehow to the lightbox for vacuuming away
tiny glass and acrylic dust which is harmful if breathed
which reminds me I didn’t pick up masks
the Euro just woke up and in typical 6AM Greenwich fashion but there
appears to be resistance around 1.4730
which reminds me there are a few AHK projects I wanted to do on the computer
that got hip checked out of the way by the woodworking projects
and somehow I want to fit in some running and Yoga now
that I rearranged and have more floor space
but how to blend all this into a week and still get 7 hrs sleep a night?
oh, there she blows! - Euro breaking out above resistance
bouncing off the 10 daily SMA today
FOMC is this week, I doubt there will be any changes for the next few months
but the tone could send a jittery market a flutter
falling back from 1.4745 now, but it looks like it will travel all the way up to the 4hr UBB
that is the Upper Bollinger Band around 1.4755
now to figure out how to fit in that running, so that the sleeping is better, so I have more energy
so that I can focus better, and trade more actively, so that I can have more time…
if it wasn’t so late I’d reach for the camera and snap a few shots of the unbuilt lightbox
figure out if the minute chart is resetting to bounce up here while the stochastics is running down below 20
but I think its enough for today.

SoC #26

John — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 11:56:25 +0000

the twilight run in Central Park tested my focus which was not that sharp today
like a dull ache longing for crisper times
of a mental edge that cut through crap so well
but I was mildly amazed at my ability to hold a serene thought and
allow my body to work out its kinks and let
the motor go on for a while longer than
some days when my mind (or ego) can’t sustain the pace and it yells louder or just loud enough
so that my legs slow down to a walk
however tonight fueled by many runners and 64F weather and that
fun run coming up in 36 hours was just enough to get me
down by the lake in good time and just a couple pauses
soon after my legs propelled me automatically and minutes later
my left thigh seized like an engine that lost valve oil
but just for a moment as a couple stretches and yoga like deep breathes
flowed some necessary body ingredients to sore areas
playing with my new toys
I don’t doubt that neighbors are wondering if a dentist has moved in their midsts
so I need to think about soundproofing a bit
or relegate my craft activities to the locked bathroom until
I do figure out something
“easy glass etching” seems an oxymoron but it isn’t the first such title I’ve gotten out of the library
I wonder if that cheap Ikea glass stuff is worth testing some etching on
and I remind myself I need to order facemasks
before I read about glass dust dangers and scare myself out of that side of the hobby
but that light box/table I’m gonna make should ameliorate dust enough
so that I won’t obsess about it
still I need to read and educate myself some more and practice on cheaper and less toxic acrylic first
the forex chart shows a nice trade I missed while showering
and the LED I implanted into a yellow ping pong ball makes a nice light
no glare, bright enough and it looks like a bulb albeit
with two little thin wire legs coming out of it
maybe I should take a marker and anthropomorphisize it somehow
or maybe I’m just a bit lightheaded after running about 6-7 miles tonight
my Cstream wanders into a neat short Kafka-esque story of an inventor with lots of LEDs and ping pong balls
but perhaps with a happy ending
and I wonder if there is such a thing as childrens pop up book with LEDs used in an imaginative way to “hi-lite” the story
or in some other way educate and involve the reader enough
to have them interact so that they finish the circuit
in order to complete the multi-ending story
that last idea has enough ‘oomph’ to think about more
but alas we do live in such a virtual society already and would
such a blended concept take hold?
maybe there is some magic in taking the old and new and creating something just a little different
that Euro is taking off into 1.47xx land
as the daily chart looks like its about to climb K2
with a short stint at base 1
the 4 hour charts show hesitation at 1.4730 ish but
as usual 6am greenwich time has some early Euro bull risers
will it linger in the 1.48 area and come back down with the upcoming US stock market pullback?
go with the trend, go with the trend
I need to make that mantra into a song
is there a word that means “song-ify”?
the active voice is so much more well active
me thinks I have drained that last bit of caffeinated adrenaline out of me
but a quick glance at the etching book before ping pong out.

SoC #25

John — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 06:18:40 +0000

it bugs me that I haven’t been adding photos here as much as I imagined
but I am pleased about the pace of many other hobbies
and the confluence of some
excited about a light box I’m designed in my head
and should really capture more ideas onto paper or in the computer
before some ideas fall off the ends of my mind
white plexiglass #2447 is what is used for lightboxes or X-Ray viewers
or light installations which is funny how I found out
as I wondered about what the best way to search that was
as I ‘gestured’ by accidnet on my laptop’s touch panel and it jumped to the bottom of an Ebay listing and there it was
a few clicks later ordering a piece of #2447 sized to the plywood I picked up earlier last week
and hoping that a 16 x 19 inch lightbox is sufficient for my needs and that
1/8th inch plexiglass will be thick enough
and calculating whether I’ll need to glue it down
or allow it to float there
and how many bright white LEDs and what spacing will be best to illuminate the box
yet not have hot and cold spots
and trying to figure out how to attach some kind of netting or plastic to keep dust from flying out when etching, or other dremel like activities
and sizing shop vacs
and thinking about angles for other lights but not introduce glare onto clear arylic
then the Cstream thinks about other projects made do-able by the perfect lightbox with
a debris vacuum, and under and over lighting, and raised edges, and some kind of plastic netting to keep dust down.

SoC # 24

John — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 11:56:22 +0000

rearranged my laptop stand and monitor in my bedroom and its not quite right yet
which feels much like everything lately
not inertia but a step sideways perhaps to a new perspective
but not quite comfortable or feeling better yet
was a sports milestones weekend as
Jeter eclipsed the Yankee hit record
Serena yelled her way out of the semifinals
last second scoring in the Broncos included a tip and lucky TD catch
Federer looked like he was master in command only
to be surpassed himself the next day
which leaves me wondering how to feel about it as
I admired his fitness and strategy and mental fortitude
only to read it online that he lost after I gave up watching the second set thinking
that it was all but over and tired of
watching the Federer vise close in on his opponents
now I wish I recorded the match
but that is how chance is sometimes… like
the friend that almost ran into me with his car turning on 86th street
as I stared up at my fantasy home
contemplating the staggering sums of money to fulfill that dream
and wondering why I stopped running regularly this summer suddenly
but have to concede to the idea of the fun run being the start of my fall running season
rather than the goal at the end
the news lately accentuates a sense of things not being quite right
with the Yale student’s latest creating doubt about many things
yet this is the precise moment to renew faiths and beliefs
but the mind wanders as I try to exercise some mind control
my own mindfulness that is, not over someone else while
I fold clothes but the touch of cotton
and the smell of detergent and sights of colors isn’t
enough to keep me here and now without struggle
still the clothes are folded sooner than expected and further down
my stream I think about the Broke American whom I
know only as an avatar in a forum
but his blog about consumerism and addictions and weight loss
clues me into how much he is trying to do and all at once
the setting sun looked marvelous from my neighbors roof deck
as we consumed some moderately priced beer from Whole Foods
and we spoke of many varied things and it struck me that I felt so strongly
that our near future, that is the next few years will test all of us
yet things will come out OK as I remain
on the optimistic side of realism
but many events do trouble me.

SoC #23

John — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 13:03:42 +0000

The weather lately seems almost too nice
especially for this time of year
when the humidity and temperature in F usually add up to well over 170
but this summer its rarely hit that horrible dis-comfort index as
long as you are not on a crowded subway platform that is
seems along with other technical hurdles the MTA can’t seem to figure out a way to
cool off the platforms and with the construction at 96th street its only gotten worse
I think it was well over 100F the other day down there
and with the moisture dripping all over the place it only seems to be some
medieval torture center in the making rather than
the nice new more convenient subway station it will become before the
next Olympics hopefully
resurrected many hobbies of late
and the anticipation phase of any endeavor causes more excitement and
misleading thoughts than any other
such as buying way too many things on Ebay
but as the weather turns in the coming weeks and more activities go indoors
I hope my recent failing nearsighted eyesight holds up to the miniature
electronics hobby I seem to enjoy so much
that’s a picture of a PCB, or prototype circuit board
it allows one to solder on small parts and wire them underneath
its like a multi-dimensional puzzle with some dimensions being
the physical layout on top, the wiring underneath, and a consideration for power requirement so that
the parts do what you want them to do
whether that’s a bright LED array, or a DC power supply, or a plant grow light
or a myriad of other tiny gadgets
not sure how I wondered over into acrylics from woodworking
but found some Ebay sellers for scrap pieces thick enough and cheap enough
to experiment with a couple blended projects
like maybe a stool with a clear top and lit from below with LEDs
or a corner or side table lit up, having wooden legs, and a clear acrylic top
next thought about a light box, actually of both types
one for art projects like drawing and etching onto acrylic
and the other type which is a bright light to simulate the sun during the winter months
haven’t spec’d that out yet, so don’t know if my current parts inventory has bulbs that simulate daylight enough to work
while thinking about it, there is another light box the kind used in photography and the LEDs do lend themselves well to enhancing lighting for digital photo projects
and red light for darkrooms, if that ever strays into my hobby stronghold
amassing some new tools like better soldering station, and better pliers and cutters
unfortunately my dremel like tool hit a snag as the seller let me know they may be out of stock
so may have to go back to the buying matrix decision board and start over
which is fun in of itself sometimes
but I can see how this buying thing can be such an addiction and should stop
and have been slowing as I crunch the data and the buying matrix function
returns some ‘no sale’ responses
however purchases made already have a steady stream of deliveries
and my delivery chain (UPS, USPS, FEDEX and doormen) must start to wonder what I’m up to
the lastest wandering off into new hobbyland has me reading about
wiring my own speaker crossovers and
winding magnet wire for inductors and what kind of
capacitors create the best high pass filters
which would be a great hobby to combine electronics, woodworking and possibly some acrylics stuff
but I wonder what I’m gonna do with the rest of the 200 tweeters I bought for 10 bucks?
(no not kidding – it was too good a deal to pass up)
and with free shipping! but it might have strained my guy’s back
they are tiny tweeters but 200 add up
so now I’m searching for tone generators and speaker building sites
wondering if there is freeware for tuning speakers
and if pimping speakers with LED lights goes too far.

Almost There

John — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 12:03:50 +0000

What’s been going on? Its been a while since I’ve added words here. Guess I just took some time off for the summer. However a new season and is almost upon us. Much ado about students returning to school, or entering a new phase in their lives which means work will be ramping up very soon. Those vacationing in the Hamptons- the traders I mean- are drinking their last whatevers and getting back to business, so markets will likely be more volatile- meaning my other vocation picks up steam too.

I can’t believe that my older one is starting High School. Orientation is this Wednesday. “Number One” my affectionate name for my first born, is excited and scared, as is expected. There will be much to discuss later Wednesday, as she discovers more details about her next 4 years. My little one, starts Middle School, so there is no shortage of newness in my household this year.

In fact, much of the last year has been spent preparing for this moment. Essays, school visits, recommendations, late night discussions about school choice priorities, test prep, test taking – all wind into this next stage that starts imminently. An emotional high pressure center is building over my dining table as we speak. Clear skies or thunderstorms are hard to predict.

I’m reminded that sometimes ‘doing nothing’ is the right thing to be doing, sometimes. Its just so frustrating to wait out these times, or at least it is profoundly for me. So what’s a guy to do? I restarted a couple hobbies – electronics and woodworking. With so much that I do that is on a keyboard and virtual, its nice to actually plan, buy, cut, saw, hammer, screw and finish a little step stool, or solder a LED array. A couple hours of concentration and something physical to show for it.

The upside is that its so much fun. The downside is my skyrocketing Ebay ratings- all as a buyer. Still all in all, the stuff doesn’t take up too much room, and the cost will pay dividends over the next few months. I do enjoy when seemingly disparate fields blend over into another. My mind imagines combining the electronics with the woodworking with some photography- or an idea in one domain bleeds over into another. I just won another auction… This borders on addiction, but its managed. Now I’ve got a small Dremel-like rotary tool. It was a bargain!

I took some shots of the LED array lighting up my breadboard. It should appear above at some point, assuming I remember… Alas, too many things, not enough time. Momentum is hard to keep up. But like a hike up a hill, we can barely make out that next valley- we’re almost there. Fall is my favorite photo season. This and my other sites are sorely lacking new photos. Click click. Snap snap.

SoC #22

John — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 05:46:15 +0000

Been working out a lot and hard which
produced the best night of sleep I’ve had in a short while
as pleasant as it was, it wasn’t anything compared to that morning when
my older child stopped her colic-y period
and I slept thru the night- a full night of sleep after months
which reminds me the next time she asked what I’ve done for her lately, I might
pull that one out of the chest
but midnight runs in Central Park are so peaceful, alone
in my discipline, without anyone (almost) to observe my breathlessness at
the tail ends of sprints and the click click click
of my yellow stopwatch
even the raccoons were no where to be seen, they
took the rainy night off, I guess, but today
as I walked some plants back to their owners, the expression
“Too many brooms, and too few dustpans”
sprung forth in my mind, unaware if I parrot or coined
a new expression that describes a frustrating episode of my life
but somehow pleased to bring something new and creative out
of the darkness of limbo-land
a recent grad sues her college for her not finding a job after a 3 month search
seems too comical yet reveals the present unemployment frustrations,
yet digging just slightly past the surface the article
mentions her 2.7 GPA and solid attendance record and if that doesn’t cement
an attitude of entitlement- I’m not sure what does
maybe the publicity will land her a job, but watch out
at her next review…
yet something comes to mind from a late night infomercial
about unreasonable people…
but somehow that isn’t exemplified well in this case
still the thought lingers from that Buddha saying:
“you become what you do now”
numbers and codes come to mind to outline a running regimen
but some more spit and polish and testing is forthcomoing
just to say that it seems to fit me well.

Rest and Reset

John — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 12:29:53 +0000

Its been an interesting month so far. Been sick and rested plenty. Summer flu isn’t fun at all. Allowed enough time to pass to let some subconscious thoughts bubble up to the surface. Last three months have been good with many milestones hit, and then its like walking onto that higher diving board and wham – you freeze up a bit.

So maybe its what they call a rebuilding period. So I took a few days off and actually worked with my hands and some power tools and spare lumber and other things and dusted off some old projects that lingered on the ‘not urgent’ end of the to-do list. Put up that coat hook, ordered some hardware, fixed a loose chair, made a calf block, set up the monitors at home to expand my screen real estate. …and excavated into a pile of stuff that I’ve been putting off organizing.

I guess I have run out of some long term goals, too. A series of rising expectations, whereby paradoxically I should be happiest, having completed some major goals – yet I’m not. Perhaps its time to brush off the tush and not rest on those laurels any longer. It reminds me of the story I heard from an Olympic gold medalist. The day after the trophy ceremony was his saddest day. He was goal-less. And so much effort and focus led to that gold medal.

Its not necessarily that being so goal-driven is a good thing. After all we should not be solely identified by our goals and accomplishments. Its more that he was directionless. Something along the lines of the travel, not the destination.

Another way to look at it is that this is sort of a personal Minsky Moment. Along that plane of existence, there aren’t more higher highs to be found. It is time to re-invent myself in some fashion. What was that saying? If you’re not growing you’re dying. Its time to visit a chameleon spirit- if such a beast exists. A vision quest. If the current financial collapse was a Minsky Moment of overextended credit – what exactly have I run out of in my life? I can’t seem to draw the parallel.

As usual, thinking along these lines creates more questions, not less. A quote that came my way recently resonates strongly. “What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now.” -Buddha

But what to do now? Pieces of the answer are obvious, but as I grasp for the answer it is like the tip of an iceberg. Too heavy and cold to lift out of the murky waters. Do I proceed as I have been, or do I learn a new way to walk and talk and see and relate? The answer will come eventually and soon I suspect. I can feel it coming together. A new blend.

Mosquito Haiku

John — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 12:17:04 +0000

Horrid Mosquito!

My net has thousands of holes

Not one for you- Splat!