Blended Living

• My abs don’t hurt
• a woman was hogging the machine today so I skipped it
• trying to adhere to the 10 minute workout
• I tried to not seem so righteous as I moved from machine to machine
• as others talked more than worked out
• but still I can understand fully how some people say they work and work at the gym and yet nothing helps…
• as they talk and socialize more than actually do anything on the machines
• 8-12 sets and I’m out of there
• its not really a 10 minute workout with the waiting and changing plates but its a goal
• and sometimes I almost hit it
• which reminds me about continuing to refine that quick, body-weight workout I can do anywhere
• that borrows from yoga, pilates, calistenics, aerobics, martial arts, and plyometrics
• somewhat like a sun salutation on steroids, that is
• figuratively speaking, or of anaerobic muscle building routines, not anabolic chemicals
• that thunder was awesome earlier and it reminded me
• of the day and night when I became a father
• the natural pyrotechnics were out in full force that day
• as they drummed in the arrival of my number one
• the days I realized that I gladly did things with and for her was the day I became a Dad
• and it amazes me how I re-learned how to draw at the appropriate time
• and the many bedtime stories that flowed out of me over the years
• how I miss them, the telling, the sharing and the ritual
• now I wonder what next phase awaits me what
• metamorphosis will become me around the next corner?
• I sense a change in the wind not just a seasonal shift
• but a multi-year tectonic rearrangement of sorts
• that hasn’t defined itself so it lies in waiting ready to reveal
• its splendors hopefully without too much fanfare and chaos
• that rain today and tomorrow and the next will challenge and perplex many
• just like the two men that couldn’t resolve their issues without some pushing and shouting on the subway car I was in today
• it felt rather crowded and sardine-like then the altercation caused
• about 150 people to squeeze into our space quickly as there were shouts of
• “what are you reaching into your bag for?” but
• just as quickly as it started, it ended
• and the ride continued
• its hard to tell whether such events are more frequent with the economic challenges
• and the news seems to have an element of interconnectedness more and more as
• that craiglist killer’s victim lived not that far from me
• and I wonder if our paths crossed literally on my way to running nirvana and
• I simply wasn’t present to notice her fully
• guess the details of that incident will reveal itself as it has the makings of newsworthiness
• weaning myself off the evil bean and my memory seems better as I remember to whittle off
• some to-do list items near the places to do them
• like pick up flax seed oil at that organic place midtown
• and I discover that its a peculiar taste as I used to swallow it in pill form
• and now I just use a spoon and a grimace
• I have tried to read a book almost every week for many months (years?) now
• but it dawns on me that I don’t read enough fiction or just plain pleasurable reading which
• ironically could help me in my other more ’serious’ endeavors
• much like the concept of running less running faster
• or giving the brain a chance to rest, recover, and think about other things for a while
• and strangely it comes from a line from a movie where he says
• “its like junk food”
• but as you who know me well, I couldn’t come up with the title right now
• … but it starred that guy who played James Bond.

SoC abs, rain, subway fight, thunder

• My abs hurt
• I drink too much coffee and cheap-bad-coffee at that
• That abdominator is such a medieval contraption
• and works so well but seems like torture
• which it is but I meant more the look of it
• note to self, take camera to gym next and add it to posterity
• listening (and watching) 80’s videos on Joost
• took a stroll down memory lane with a few of those oldies
• A Ha’s “Take on Me” with that wondrous forward looking video
• to Carly Simon’s “Come around again”
• and the beautiful yet weird Eurythmics “Sweet Dreams ” … those cows and lyrics
• Some of the fashions are coming back, the puffy hair and padded shoulders
• the videos’  feel and story narrations seem silly
• so I suppose all complex systems are demand seeking supply
• as skirts get shorter and more form fitting to allure
• fewer suitors, or ones that have a job, and a home
• I finished my 2 liter bottle of sucrose laden kosher coke and I am sad
• and definitely over-caffeinated as my heart races and all I’m doing is typing
• maybe I need to ween off the bean or at least cut it down to one cup a day
• I hate forms and filling them
• and yearn for a time when I delegate all that jazz to someone else
• but that isn’t today… yet
• my abs hurt as I stretch in bed and there really isn’t a better posture to type this in
• well it looks slweeky coming up
• just made a couple bucks on the Euro
• eyelids get heavy… darkness approaches… merry go round music starts
• yes, its dreamland beckoning
• and I’m on the threshold.

SoC joost

• I just re-read the same paragraph in my book 3 times so
• there’s stuff floating around in the noggin that wants to escape but
• I don’t have a real cohesive theme so here’s
• another stream of consciousness writing
• that was a surprise on House but
• I won’t give it away since we live in the age of Tivos, DVRs, and season long DVDs
• either I’m not watching carefully enough or the show is weaving too many open strands
• and its intriguing yet annoying at the same time
• I think we have been watching House a lot lately since
• I sometimes mimic his snarly character towards my girls and it startles
• me somewhat as it comes so naturally to me
• also my “label/name Alzheimers” makes me wonder if I truly am a social being
• when I can forget the names of people that I really shouldn’t
• and its on par with that character’s level of non-admiration for anyone
• but that’s a TV character and I’m a real person
• I do wonder at times how long this can be and whether I should cut them short
• just in case you the Dear Reader is following along and is getting quite bored
• or is this format simply interesting to navigate
• the maze that is my brain?
• and then in my inimitable way to segue off in many different dizzying directions
• and wonder simultaneously whether
• that is just my ego bordering on arrogance
• was that woman flirting with me?
• assault on Dow 8000, part deux
• why do I have the ability to read people so well sometimes and others…
• Really, woman wets herself instead of getting off line for $50 used  iBook?
• will it rain tomorrow?
• I should ask her to coffee if I should ever see her again
• or is it truly interesting to freely delve into another persons free association
• even if it is too often lately…
• as other thoughts sprout up
• and in no way seem related to this thread but alas dear reader if you have come along so far
• you know that its my tangled web of thoughts and there are off ramps that
• would rival Escher’s most intricate
• still some days there is more connectedness than other days
• and this one is mere distraction if hopefully somewhat enjoyable to follow
• along with on my parade of disjointed ideas.

SoC

• Its late and the quiet surrounds me
• I put on the funny Koss earbuds that block out external sounds and before I turn on the MP3 player its even quieter…
• such aural isolation can frighten yet it feels so good right now
• were my ears ringing all this time and I didn’t hear it over the NYC din?
• such thoughts and quests can wait
• I feel relief that the day is put to rest or will be soon
• the days filled with productive work, hard running, and strengthened relationships stretch my life
• like a rubber band one way
• to offer such restful sleep when my lively day yields to night and subconsciousness
• as the rubber snaps to the other side
• sure there are concerns and worries and the thoughts that pile on
• yet my resilience is so strong today that I know they will be tackled tomorrow
• if life is a football game, the ball was advanced today
• and then there is time to rest and think of the cheerleaders dancing their enticement
• and let the strategy come to me in my sleep for the next play
• but life isn’t a football game exactly
• we don’t have sponsors to support us
• nor do we have to cater to their brands
• we are in a way our own best cheerleader and sponsors
• its that quiet part of the cycle
• when we can hear everything that whispers inside
• the voices that yearn for attention
• the shouts of needs and screams of hurts upon our bodies and minds and souls
• the enticements leaked into our psyche by carefully NLP’ed ads
• you know the ones that resemble late night infomercials except that they run inside our skulls
• and they key in on our personalized fears and desires
• tricky aren’t they?
• these voices need to be listened to and put to rest, lest they come back again louder in the next refrain
• like a line at a new restaurant where you see a line and think that its important and decide you must eat there
• except you are standing in the line in front of and behind yourself
• be careful to notice this next time
• lest you fear or fool or drool yourself into thinking something is more important than it really is
• and now for some visions of gumdrops and lollipops and cheerleaders …

SoC quiet, shhh, SoC

• Stream of consciousness pict or random picture to be added here later
• although I seem to fade in and out more lately
• partly sick, partly time shift, not sure why else
• so this is a stream of non-consciousness, too
• learned a new word today: portmanteau
• not sure if I knew it once before, but had to look it up just now
• it means a blend of words – like brunch or spork or frenemy
• I suppose it also pertains to the celeb couples like bennifer or billary
• but brunch is my favorite- especially on a warm sunlit lazy weekend
• slweekend ?!? not sure how to pronounce that one
• maybe this one coming will be swleeky…
• but it will be a feat to fit it in
• as I see more on the to do list than I am taking off
• like the remaining 3 tasks on tonight’s list that I didn’t get to
• and all that talk of bad news has many down and
• the rain today brought me down a notch or two
• so maybe I’ll have more energy SatSun… freedays… well, this weekend
• I could use a real recharging of the batteries
• maybe a good book, great coffee,  some sun, and a kickback attitude
• followed by or preceded with a nice run
• came across an optimism exercise
• which could be a twist or tweak on morning pages
• its to write about the very best you; that is if things worked out well like you’d get a lucky break or two
• or you have the discipline and wherewithal to just do the things that would be good for you and make you a better you
• to just describe yourself that way in the present tense once a week for about a month
• put it in the positive, spin it, spell out the best version of yourself
• its been shown that this improves moods and improves the chances that this future you comes true
• also the persistent recurring stuff (from week to week) is perhaps the stuff you care about more
• rather than let our brains run on autopilot and ruminate about the negative or what fears may never come
• which I guess is a primitive way to keep us alive but it doesn’t help much in this society
• when it creates a downward spiral towards a self-fulfilling prophecy
• and I think that in the coming months and years, our outcomes will be shaped equally by our attitudes as much as external forces
• so start a optitude habit.   change that ‘tude for the better.

SoC, personal SoC

• Guess slumdog becomes a part of the vernacular
• didn’t see it
• but might add it to the Q
• the nonexistent Q, which I will create soon
• at Netflix probably
• I kinda liked the opening, it was creative if a bit cheesy
• but I guess I have a soft spot for musicals
• the magic of DVR allows me to see the rest later
• but will likely be hard to not hear about all the awards tomorrow
• didn’t create a SoC graphic, but maybe I’ll just insert some of my own photography randomly
• as I couldn’t resist buying that camera I kept eying last week
• its a bit smaller than my other DSLR-like camera
• so I’ll likely have it by my side most of the time
• it also takes 720p video, which I’m not sure how I’ll use
• but some nice mood, or B roll stuff could be good to spice up some website ideas I keep kicking around in my head
• a friend’s site – a SMF Bboard inspired the writing of that last fiction piece
• the guidelines were 60 minutes of writing or during lunchtime
• which is nice to write and let stuff go – like helium balloons (without the pollution side effects)
• just type away and see where it leads you
• but the idea for that last piece was inspired partly on a subway ride
• and the mood was set from the nightly news
• was thinking about making a randomizer that takes topics from news, websites, blogs and randomly spits out a topic to write about
• could be fun to do, writing is really just like anything else – the practice makes it easier and better
• another idea would be to tag team writing things
• spit out a paragraph or two, and pass the baton
• I’d also like to write an entire episode of a fav TV show
• its likely more work than I want to do, but in the end it could be very entertaining
• picture 2-6 people, some pizza, a white board or similar and a few keyboards
• could be a couple hours of fun, just have to agree on which show
• and there will likely be many other ‘rules’ and guidelines created as you go
• other writing ideas that came up were
• random characters from history meeting or running into each other at the supermarket
• like what would Hitler and Ghandi say picking up a quart of milk?
• or Hillary Clinton and Miley Cyrus, or Harry Potter and Dirty Harry?
• it could be fun if it grabs ya

SoC Oscars, SoC, writing

• I should spend a few minutes with a graphics program and design a SoC logo
• stimulus seems to be missing the mark
• and that’s a large $800 B arrow
• think its a long term negative
• with a shorter term positive for the markets
• once it gains some momentum maybe starting this week
• bought some sake today for the first time
• guess I’ve always sponged off others sake
• whether made or bought
• sun staying up longer which is a good thing
• but the mood out there seems to be deepening on the dark side
• wanted to find a BK for an angry whopper
• but kept misremembering locations of MCDs instead
• gotta step up a couple to-dos
• as my 7 week cycle is coming up.

SoC sake

• wow what a warm weekend
• and I didn’t get the chance to run, but took the opportunity to fit in a couple nice walks
• played some poker
• met a new player
• that is a free spirit, or seemed to be one
• drank more beer than I have in a long while
• and surprisingly I had the headache before the game and felt fine the day after
• despite the shortened, disrupted sleep, and strewn beer bottles in my wake
• that urge to buy something is still there, while I (the other me) pretends to listen
• and may in the end win out and I’ll find myself with a new camera, monitor, and TV
• but not today
• I have 27 books out from the library, one of which I read a bit from as I was the first to go “all in” and get knocked out
• as I was complimented sideways as being so smart -> because I read so much -> because I get knocked out of Texas Hold’em so early
• I used to think I could play poker better
• but it “wasn’t in the cards” last night
• while walking saw some more images I would have loved to photo
• but no camera on me at the time
• played with forum / BB software – have an idea for a new project
• and I’m excited
• trashed FB a bit recently, and then it reminded me of a birthday
• which I found useful, but I remembered already, still I might not the next time
• these modern conveniences are such harsh mistresses
• as shows fall off the bottom of my DVR list
• I get more email than I can possibly read in any given day
• as I search for more things I’d like to learn about to
• borrow more books and I hit the limit at the library
• but at least I’m mostly not paying fines at the NYPL
• which reminds me there is another site I have to login to before I sleep…

SoC, Social conventions life, poker, SoC

• its cold its warm its snowy then sunny the market is up and down
• we are on a sideways ride
• bad news isn’t so bad, and good news doesn’t particularly linger
• the winter is taking its toll on me
• I can sense the weakness as I shop online for things I don’t need
• and daydream about vacations to far away hot places
• with beaches like the ones in the pictures I was sent in email
• with a kangaroo, yes, a kangaroo that seemed to swim out into the ocean
• and I found myself envious
• a first for me – to be envious of a kangaroo
• which makes me think of the story about the origins of the word
• when the white traveler asked the pygmie and he answered what sounded like ‘kang a roo’
• which meant ‘I don’t know’
• so I’m envious of –I don’t know– what
• which is neither here nor there
• and this stream of thought seems to be mired somewhere between winnie the pooh and Dr Seuss
• yet I haven’t had a drink today
• or maybe that is the problem or the solution…
• just rearranged my 4x trading charts layouts
• and I like it but the first trade is agin’ me
• as I lose 8 cents in my pursuit to reinvent the trader in me
• and am glad 4x allows for microtrades
• as 8 cents is cheap to pay for the lesson I just (re)learned about trading ranges, simple moving averages, and the fractal nature of time and prices
• which makes me think just like a kid on a swing
• its easy to see the turns closer to their apexes as well as take a non-blurry photo of them being so into their present moment
• just that the pendulum of trading has so many participants
• and I only have a handful of kids I’d photograph
• and usually just one at a time
• yet the market reveals itself in moments just like a girl you are enamored with and you just know exactly what to do next.

Being, SoC 4x, kangaroo

• Running at 10pm in NYC is really pleasant with very few people out
• that is during the summers
• in the winters it seems that is when most of the dogs get their last walk of the night
• its tough to run fast and not tick off one or more of them
• luckily our founding fathers, the ones that commissioned Olmstead
• had the foresight to create Central Park
• which still has dogs off leash at that time
• but they don’t seem to care about me huffing and puffing up some hills
• (they might pity me at that exact moment)
• as I’m so close to myocardial infarction anyway
• fartleks with speedwork up hills and catching my breathe downhill
• that will cure any thoughts about sitting too much
• as I sat on a bus back from AC for 5 hours because two trucks chose to crash into each other inside the Lincoln Tunnel
• Although any negative moment can have its silver lining
• as it was an interesting sociological observation absorbing all the passenger reactions.
• which reminds me of the science of shopping
• a fascinating book about our attitudes and perceptions within retail
• there probably is a transportation or travel equivalent
• I’ve yet to come across
• but considering 50,000 books are written each year
• the science of peoples reactions to travel probably exists
• back to running, I still get a rush when the runners world magazine shows up in the mail
• there was an interesting article about length of workout and immune weakening
• so I may keep my runs to 75 minutes and shorter during flu/cold seasons
• also another article about strengthening the core to help ease repetitive stress injuries
• something about proper alignment of the pelvis
• allowing stronger, surer foot falls
• kinda makes sense, but having difficulty adding these routines to daily workouts, but have to find a way otherwise plateauing will occur.
• that beach and ocean was pretty
• almost free vacations aren’t bad either

SoC, run cold, dogs, night running