Blended Living

Sometimes we just get busy going through the motions and suddenly find ourselves transported ahead in time quickly.  Maybe its the 90 degree weather that’s hit NYC, or those crazy planes buzzing downtown, or that swine flu that wakes me up today.  I noted this weekend that the official start of Summer and beach going is only 5 weeks away.  That’s 35 days, and if anything I sure don’t feel like I’m beach fit quite yet- but I do enjoy a challenge.

Its time to lose that winter flab!  Jotting down my workout regimen now.  See you at the beach in a few.  If I devise some great workout in the process, I’ll share it here later on.

• My abs don’t hurt
• a woman was hogging the machine today so I skipped it
• trying to adhere to the 10 minute workout
• I tried to not seem so righteous as I moved from machine to machine
• as others talked more than worked out
• but still I can understand fully how some people say they work and work at the gym and yet nothing helps…
• as they talk and socialize more than actually do anything on the machines
• 8-12 sets and I’m out of there
• its not really a 10 minute workout with the waiting and changing plates but its a goal
• and sometimes I almost hit it
• which reminds me about continuing to refine that quick, body-weight workout I can do anywhere
• that borrows from yoga, pilates, calistenics, aerobics, martial arts, and plyometrics
• somewhat like a sun salutation on steroids, that is
• figuratively speaking, or of anaerobic muscle building routines, not anabolic chemicals
• that thunder was awesome earlier and it reminded me
• of the day and night when I became a father
• the natural pyrotechnics were out in full force that day
• as they drummed in the arrival of my number one
• the days I realized that I gladly did things with and for her was the day I became a Dad
• and it amazes me how I re-learned how to draw at the appropriate time
• and the many bedtime stories that flowed out of me over the years
• how I miss them, the telling, the sharing and the ritual
• now I wonder what next phase awaits me what
• metamorphosis will become me around the next corner?
• I sense a change in the wind not just a seasonal shift
• but a multi-year tectonic rearrangement of sorts
• that hasn’t defined itself so it lies in waiting ready to reveal
• its splendors hopefully without too much fanfare and chaos
• that rain today and tomorrow and the next will challenge and perplex many
• just like the two men that couldn’t resolve their issues without some pushing and shouting on the subway car I was in today
• it felt rather crowded and sardine-like then the altercation caused
• about 150 people to squeeze into our space quickly as there were shouts of
• “what are you reaching into your bag for?” but
• just as quickly as it started, it ended
• and the ride continued
• its hard to tell whether such events are more frequent with the economic challenges
• and the news seems to have an element of interconnectedness more and more as
• that craiglist killer’s victim lived not that far from me
• and I wonder if our paths crossed literally on my way to running nirvana and
• I simply wasn’t present to notice her fully
• guess the details of that incident will reveal itself as it has the makings of newsworthiness
• weaning myself off the evil bean and my memory seems better as I remember to whittle off
• some to-do list items near the places to do them
• like pick up flax seed oil at that organic place midtown
• and I discover that its a peculiar taste as I used to swallow it in pill form
• and now I just use a spoon and a grimace
• I have tried to read a book almost every week for many months (years?) now
• but it dawns on me that I don’t read enough fiction or just plain pleasurable reading which
• ironically could help me in my other more ‘serious’ endeavors
• much like the concept of running less running faster
• or giving the brain a chance to rest, recover, and think about other things for a while
• and strangely it comes from a line from a movie where he says
• “its like junk food”
• but as you who know me well, I couldn’t come up with the title right now
• … but it starred that guy who played James Bond.

• My abs hurt
• I drink too much coffee and cheap-bad-coffee at that
• That abdominator is such a medieval contraption
• and works so well but seems like torture
• which it is but I meant more the look of it
• note to self, take camera to gym next and add it to posterity
• listening (and watching) 80′s videos on Joost
• took a stroll down memory lane with a few of those oldies
• A Ha’s “Take on Me” with that wondrous forward looking video
• to Carly Simon’s “Come around again”
• and the beautiful yet weird Eurythmics “Sweet Dreams ” … those cows and lyrics
• Some of the fashions are coming back, the puffy hair and padded shoulders
• the videos’  feel and story narrations seem silly
• so I suppose all complex systems are demand seeking supply
• as skirts get shorter and more form fitting to allure
• fewer suitors, or ones that have a job, and a home
• I finished my 2 liter bottle of sucrose laden kosher coke and I am sad
• and definitely over-caffeinated as my heart races and all I’m doing is typing
• maybe I need to ween off the bean or at least cut it down to one cup a day
• I hate forms and filling them
• and yearn for a time when I delegate all that jazz to someone else
• but that isn’t today… yet
• my abs hurt as I stretch in bed and there really isn’t a better posture to type this in
• well it looks slweeky coming up
• just made a couple bucks on the Euro
• eyelids get heavy… darkness approaches… merry go round music starts
• yes, its dreamland beckoning
• and I’m on the threshold.

• I just re-read the same paragraph in my book 3 times so
• there’s stuff floating around in the noggin that wants to escape but
• I don’t have a real cohesive theme so here’s
• another stream of consciousness writing
• that was a surprise on House but
• I won’t give it away since we live in the age of Tivos, DVRs, and season long DVDs
• either I’m not watching carefully enough or the show is weaving too many open strands
• and its intriguing yet annoying at the same time
• I think we have been watching House a lot lately since
• I sometimes mimic his snarly character towards my girls and it startles
• me somewhat as it comes so naturally to me
• also my “label/name Alzheimers” makes me wonder if I truly am a social being
• when I can forget the names of people that I really shouldn’t
• and its on par with that character’s level of non-admiration for anyone
• but that’s a TV character and I’m a real person
• I do wonder at times how long this can be and whether I should cut them short
• just in case you the Dear Reader is following along and is getting quite bored
• or is this format simply interesting to navigate
• the maze that is my brain?
• and then in my inimitable way to segue off in many different dizzying directions
• and wonder simultaneously whether
• that is just my ego bordering on arrogance
• was that woman flirting with me?
• assault on Dow 8000, part deux
• why do I have the ability to read people so well sometimes and others…
• Really, woman wets herself instead of getting off line for $50 used  iBook?
• will it rain tomorrow?
• I should ask her to coffee if I should ever see her again
• or is it truly interesting to freely delve into another persons free association
• even if it is too often lately…
• as other thoughts sprout up
• and in no way seem related to this thread but alas dear reader if you have come along so far
• you know that its my tangled web of thoughts and there are off ramps that
• would rival Escher’s most intricate
• still some days there is more connectedness than other days
• and this one is mere distraction if hopefully somewhat enjoyable to follow
• along with on my parade of disjointed ideas.

Solipsistic Girl,

Don’t you tell your dreams to me?

I will set you free.

• Its late and the quiet surrounds me
• I put on the funny Koss earbuds that block out external sounds and before I turn on the MP3 player its even quieter…
• such aural isolation can frighten yet it feels so good right now
• were my ears ringing all this time and I didn’t hear it over the NYC din?
• such thoughts and quests can wait
• I feel relief that the day is put to rest or will be soon
• the days filled with productive work, hard running, and strengthened relationships stretch my life
• like a rubber band one way
• to offer such restful sleep when my lively day yields to night and subconsciousness
• as the rubber snaps to the other side
• sure there are concerns and worries and the thoughts that pile on
• yet my resilience is so strong today that I know they will be tackled tomorrow
• if life is a football game, the ball was advanced today
• and then there is time to rest and think of the cheerleaders dancing their enticement
• and let the strategy come to me in my sleep for the next play
• but life isn’t a football game exactly
• we don’t have sponsors to support us
• nor do we have to cater to their brands
• we are in a way our own best cheerleader and sponsors
• its that quiet part of the cycle
• when we can hear everything that whispers inside
• the voices that yearn for attention
• the shouts of needs and screams of hurts upon our bodies and minds and souls
• the enticements leaked into our psyche by carefully NLP’ed ads
• you know the ones that resemble late night infomercials except that they run inside our skulls
• and they key in on our personalized fears and desires
• tricky aren’t they?
• these voices need to be listened to and put to rest, lest they come back again louder in the next refrain
• like a line at a new restaurant where you see a line and think that its important and decide you must eat there
• except you are standing in the line in front of and behind yourself
• be careful to notice this next time
• lest you fear or fool or drool yourself into thinking something is more important than it really is
• and now for some visions of gumdrops and lollipops and cheerleaders …