The Other Boleyn Girl
The local diner had this movie poster for Boleyn Girl that seemed to stay in the window for months. I guess it planted the subliminal idea to watch it. Tudors caught my eye and I watched a couple episodes on cable. ScarJo and Portman are certainly pleasant to look at, yet all this didn’t prepare me for nor justify this movie.
Perhaps it was the juxtaposition of watching a really good documentary without any household names produced with a scant budget. Shot in something much less than what a modern High Def LCD can handle, the documentary stood on its merits. Boleyn Girl on Blue Ray perhaps promised so much more and as eye candy it delivers some sweetness here and there – a vista of what the makers thought England appears like centuries ago, a lingering shot on a curvaceous woman, the countryside with its hues.
However the movie otherwise stunk.
Which brings me to signs of when a movie just stinks.
- You start wondering how long this movie is
- don’t really care about the characters
- wonder if this sucks or you’re sick or something
- does your movie companion like this?
- how much longer is this movie?
- I’d walk out but I’m watching this at a friend’s
- you start calculating the odds of another blackout
- there is relief when she says this SUCKS
- its so bad you can’t even really shred it apart afterwards – its not worth it.
I would normally rate this on a scale to 10 bucks – but this was a no sale. This ‘movie’ neither moves or is moving. The rise to power story is hackneyed, the royal soap opera robotic, blind ambition characters flat, and the tragedy disinteresting.
