Blended Living

• ahh what a dreary day…
• the kind that just saps the energy out of you
• so I went for a quick run after the rain stopped
• but time only permitted a short quickie and
• I combined some grocery shopping along with the endorphins which
• didn’t come by way of my short run but in the recognition
• of a young actress at the grocery store…
• she slipped onto the line behind me but noticed earlier somewhere in my subconscious as I passed her twice in the bread aisle and by the juices but
• thought it was just another student that I may have had some contact with at first and
• I was in that rushed mode where I pinpointed my purchases and calculated the shortest line whipping past things like a car chase scene
• but when she appeared as I paid I couldn’t help but not
• focus on her face and she looked down a bit
• and I said, “You look like an actress”
• realizing the silliness of my wording as she withdrew from me
• and weakly said, “Yes…?”
• but something in my demeanor got her to talk as I said
• “I’m trying to place you…” and then said “part of me wants to say movie, but another wants to say TV show…”
• she responded with, “Well, both…”
• and then I pleaded, “Give me a clue?”
• and she pondered between chatting with her pals a bit
• I mentioned this is going to bother me all night now,
• as she gave me her name, “Sarah Steele.  You can look me up, this way…”
• I smiled, trying to connect those necessary synapses in vain then
• I bid her “Good Night”
• as I hit the corner, it hit me
• I ran back the half block, got her attention and said, “I remember, Spanglish.”
• as I ran towards home, I thought I wouldn’t have done that if she hadn’t given me her name
• and thought how much I liked that movie.

I came across this site a while back, but its gotten even better with them putting up more content in a creative commons license now.   All the lessons are now viewable online and downloadable as PDFs.  Enjoy!

drawspace

• rediscovered tennis
• and after overindulging for about 9 straight days
• and some shoulder soreness
• the game is pretty much back
• looking forward to the next court time after a short vacation and hiatus from smacking that little yellow ball around
• finally bought and tried that nikeplus device on my Nano
• its bizarrely fun to hear that female voice tell me my distance or calories burned
• so despite the humidity I’m looking forward to some miles in the near future
• which should also help my tennis game
• assuming I don’t over do all of this and go stale or get injured
• as I’m trying to locate old CD’s
• and rip them to the little Nano
• ain’t technology fun?
• as  I wonder what Apple’s “Genius” will come up with as it digests my eclectic playlist
• and I throw in some of my kids’ music too just to make it interesting
• altho the Netflix algorithm does a nice job between my mysteries and their disney choices
• think the nike site will update via my syncs, so that will be interesting to see
• both in how they present my runs and data, and in how it may motivate me
• to reach for new running personal bests, or “PBs”
• tho I do try to resist such ego fulfillment and rather be fueled by ‘inner motivations’
• still its nice to commit to these ‘lifetime’ type endeavors, running, tennis, and walking
• as they feed into each other well
• teased myself a bit with yoga, but its not caught on in any serious way yet
• however I feel it will complement well my other activities
• “bing bong” another CD is done
• sleep has been more sporadic than I’d like but maybe this running will improve that too
• too many wants and hobbies, not enough time in each day
• but enthusiasm and passion isn’t lacking so its OK.

• Only my third post and half the year is almost over!
• This is my stream of Consciousness writing in case you wander over here
• and wonder what these jumbles of words are
• it came about one late night when I thought what would be the easiest way to let words flow onto these virtual pages
• and the first SoC was born
• I think its more important to let the ideas out and into the wild to
• perhaps enlighten another, or bring about a smile or even dare I
• say cause another sentient being to spark some words of their own
• finding beauty in all its definitions and on occasion, to create some here maybe
• running is such a joy again, I read the last post and all that pollen came back in my memory
• that was not fun at all
• and the post before that was months earlier
• but as I recreate the timeline I remember what I was fixated on those first few months of the year
• those little pips that bob and weave up and down 24 x 7 (well actually 5)
• it astounds me that I become so enraptured by its beauty and complexity
• and yet my innermost goal is not to become “rich” but yet to be the best trader I can be
• it rings somewhat hollow to trade currencies and not want to become filthy rich
• but that is the passion that grips me wholeheartedly, despite that ultimate irony
• still there is something to it, to see its beauty that way, and in that angle and at that lighting
• the complexity sheds, and reveals an even more beautiful sight to behold
• a natural naked simplicity
• one that requires one to be so honest with oneself, to trust that instinct
• like a surfer rides a wave until a new one forms, but in that moment they are all one
• the rider, the board, the wave, the sun, everything is all one
• for a moment
• I so do want to put a photo at the top of each post, and I’ve threatened that before
• but I have been inspired lately
• and I’m asking permission to put a special photo up, but its not mine, so need to ask first
• which reminds me that this city is still so fascinating to me
• I never know what I will come across, or when I’ll meet someone new and have a conversation
• that is different and fresh because they hail from another part of the world.

• Pollen flies everywhere as
• the springtime ignites after a short burst of heat and rain those
• vital ingredients to usher in a new season of dull fogginess for me
• I don’t remember it being so bad, but I’ve let myself go a bit after a few seasons
• of running and other healthy habits
• but there is a sing song-i-ness to life as we step 2 forward and 1 back
• reminded by the natural ratios
• the birds and insects that fly to and fro
• the markets that fluctuate all seemingly randomly to the uninitiated eye
• the harsh ups and downs of prices; the almost vindictive wantonness just
• after you enter a trade
• but alas there is a rhythm to the markets
• just like the rivers and oceans and even that birch tree pollen will subside
• and then I can enjoy long walks, happy strained runs, and breathless sprints outdoors
• its just a matter of patience and finding the spot to stand to witness the natural order
• to not fight natures time table and cycles
• to remind ourselves once again that nature holds a force so strong
• that unpronounceable  volcanoes will erupt to interrupt our overscheduled lives
• that  faith and patience are necessary ingredients along with
• the right dosages of fear and greed to create that beautiful blended life
• that once every few decades the Yanks will turn a triple play
• and a college player will leap over a catcher
• strange, unique, but they are part of the game and will occur
• how strange a feeling to sense a loss of control just before learning a new skill
• to remind oneself its OK
• to let go of the railing and skate into the center of the rink
• or let a few standard lots of currency trade off into an imagined line of support
• conjured by moving averages, oversold bands and fibonacci clusters.

Flutter and the fall

What words lie dormant  today?

Three Mo(u)rning pages

• Its seems such a long time since I’ve aimed my camera
• besides the occasional social snap of a birthday or an out of towner visiting
• I mean the more artistic, and less practical usage of the time freezing megabit logger
• that is, my trusty Lumix
• hoping its like the proverbial bike,  rusty but not forgotten
• upgraded my google storage space
• mostly to get the free Eye-fi card
• but what to do with that 200 gigabytes of space now?
• after the left brain logical thoughts of archiving, and facilitating wealth accumulation
• I spent a few minutes exploring Picasa
• and I’m back at the first thought, I really need to play with that camera more
• bought some new gadgets, a HDTV for my mom and sis
• (yeah they got it already and I don’t wrap presents or feel compelled to give them on the day)
• another larger monitor for my charts and the sporadic movie
• and the thing that I’ve been waiting the most for…
• a ebook reader
• decided on the Sony Touch, it has expandable memory via cards, a touchscreen, renders many formats including PDFs, CHMs, and will be able to download free content off NYPL
• so no excuses for many more pleasurable reading hours in 2010
• and importantly I can reuse a lot of shelf space at home, as I gradually manipulate paper books to digital formats
• it will either be time consuming or costly
• not much that I have thought of in terms of getting around that…
• Oh good, Picasa allows different levels of content sharing
• finished a hutch or shelf for my desk, so got another 42 inches of monitor and computer gadgets space
• I actually timed that one well
• the window seat /work bench/ spare bed project got fouled up
• as I need more lumber, and the mattress arrived already
• but its hard to get those 2x4s home in a snow storm
• the 24 inch monitor should arrive in the next 48 hrs and I got the spot ready for it
• got a good DK photography book out of the library but we’ll see if it lives up to its name
• “absolutely everything” is pretty bold
• and is an example of types of books that wouldn’t be as suitable for an eReader
• since its grey scale and not color and a small screen
• but very portable and battery lasts for 2 weeks at a time
• next to search through the freely available content out there
• and start making a list
• as well as a virtual book budget as I have put off buying books for quite some time now
• I’m starting to like the dark stain on the bench 2 projects ago
• and yes I should note somewhere to not saturate the wood with the stain
• like I did basically while in a rush to get it done
• still wondering what to do with Wave, Voice is kinda cool but not utilizing it well yet
• and I’m itching to get my hands on that Sony reader, and hoping it ships before the long weekend
• so much to do, so little energy and free time and that shy sun isn’t helping my mood
• but I’m feeling like we turn a corner here soon, and is it coincidence that the winter solstice is upon us
• its late and I’m hungry and imagining smells of food
• but breakfast is a few hours away.

• As I ran aboard the last Ikea bus leaving NYC, just behind the driver and before he closed the door
• another passenger proclaimed me “Lucky, I’ve been waiting 30 minutes!”
• I smiled and shrugged my shoulders and looked for an empty seat
• went back halfway and my subconscious heuristic chose the skinny asian woman
• (there’d be more room for my wide shoulders)
• I asked if it was free, as I pointed to the seat
• didn’t hear her response but her face indicated approval
• I sat and caught my breath as I texted my success at catching the last bus
• as we got out of the tunnel the setting sun lit up her side of the bus and I noticed her outfit
• typical fall knits and tights and boots, at least that seemed to be what every other woman in NYC was wearing
• her attractive face with pulled back long hair completed each other well
• but her posture said stay away, crossed arms and legs…
• as I contemplated my best Mentalist skills, I weighed
• the risks of exercising my social skills VS her apparent
• desire not to be “socialized” with
• later her demeanor stayed firmly knotted, yet there broke the semblances of a smile on her face as I glanced over
• I took the mixed signals to mean she was ‘taken’
• but didn’t see any rings on significant fingers
• the lack of traffic brought us to Elizabeth  quickly
• only punctuated by 4 texts and 2 phone calls
• besides her phone was studded and I couldn’t figure out
• whether she was much younger than I guessed, or why would
• a woman have such blingy accouterments with otherwise earthy tones and sensible knits?
• alas we disembarked before the perplexity allowed me a chance to break the silence
• and I was in the hunt for wood
• it reminded me of the reality show on Planet Green
• I’ve been mildly addicted to
• they were accumulating firewood for the season
• 4 groups of people from California to New Jersey
• retired factory worker with his daughters
• a computer tech, among others
• in “Alaska Experiment”
• a show about how these people will survive a winter in Alaska,
• roughing it in some cabins and tents, certainly unplugged and in the wild
• lumber turns out to be cheaper at Ikea than I can get at lumber stores in Manhattan
• I cruised the aisles and activated memories of short cuts but
• the Ikea was under renovation so at the second turn past pots and things I started looking at signs
• I arrived at aisle 35 bin 36 and was surprised at the quality of the bed slats, it was labeled unfinished wood
• but was much better than what I could pick up closer to home
• and this was pretty much cut already to size
• OK, I changed my plans a bit, but saved myself some noise and sawdust
• now to figure out how much to get…
• I decided on 3 bunches as well as a few other odds and ends
• the skill of picking a fast line proved still with me
• but there was only twine at the packing table
• i was hoping to make a handle from tape
• so it took a while to tie it up and fasten a handle
• as I worked feverishly a woman and two small children walked by
• she was somewhat out of it, but I didn’t really pause to observe
• and instead continued to tie and hope to catch a quick bus back home
• as her older child the daughter pulled a sign off the wall and it came crashing down loudly
• an Ikea staffer came over quickly and asked her a question but she didn’t respond
• I thought whats with these woman today who seem to not have a voice?
• then her boy started to bang a cart into the wall and the table I was using, so I shot her a look of WTF?
• she just took my stare and let it glance off her
• not even making any attempt to corral her charges at all
• I made my final knot and rushed out the door
• just past the woman I sat next to
• she was on her studded cell phone and she stared up off into the distance as our paths intersected
• she towards the returns area
• me out into the fresh air
• and then I sprinted with cart towards the bus for the second time
• and the driver indicated that he had to check if there was any seats left
• luckily the woman in front of me was waiting for someone and I heaved the stack of lumber into a free spot and boarded the  bus
• the purple colors were spectacular with the setting sun and the golden rays bouncing off downtown skyscrapers sandwiching the blue waters of the Hudson
• I thought to myself how timely was my impromptu trip just as we hit tunnel traffic
• enough time to review my To-Do list and send a couple texts
• I carried the stuff across the long subway tunnel and my thoughts strayed towards that Alaska Show again
• I was carrying 30 pounds of lumber to make some furniture
• and they were logging and splitting firewood to the tune of 9,000 pounds to survive the winter
• I sweated a new understanding of their predicament
• just got snookered on a 4x trade, but it was only for dimes
• and  I realize that 2 monitors are not enough for all that I want to do
• so the new furniture I’m building which will be part custom bed, window seat, and large work surface with plenty of storage underneath
• should allow me a spot closer to my multi monitor setup
• and I did de clutter about 100 pounds this weekend
• despite the 30 more I brought home.

• How strange to hunger for some pure fiction reading as
• I usually devour anything but that
• yet nothing yields true in my quest to sate my mental appetite
• even some of the Young Adult books borrowed for others
• and ebooks is similarly lacking despite the many titles that come up
• downloading Karmic Koala now, just 17 more minutes
• but its too late to burn and reboot now
• weekend you can’t come soon enough!
• just one more day for the man
• then two for me and mine
• found a couple things cleaning, and thought of two things I can’t find
• with all the titles in my home, not finding something to read for a few minutes before turning in is well
• very unsatisfying to say the least
• I go through the motions but don’t put enough of myself into those present moments so
• some workouts and other exercises seem hollow
• but better than not doing them
• and certainly better than putting thoughts energy and time into negatives
• one thing to slide trying to hold fast quite another to just run in the wrong direction
• trying to build some momentum to slingshot around
• the dark winter months
• and emerge in the spring ready
• rather than have to gather strength then and start from scratch
• but running in winter is its own special discipline
• dark and cold, dark and cold, step by step but what a way to start the days
• with sunrises and serotonin storms in the brain, and those late afternoon lulls are weakening as my body and spirit grows stronger
• but such noble habits are fragile and have to maintain the string
• Seinfeldian chains and such
• Run on S’s and T’s, short of that at least 3 days a week weather permitting mornings
• that download meter lies as its still saying 17 minutes now
• but maybe I’m in the dark territory of my home WiFi
• and those packets keep colliding
• an old game appeared in the mail from an ebay auction that thoroughly
• entertained us a few years ago (and promptly the disk hid itself thereafter)
• hoping its still fun, but not as addicting as it was those 100+ hrs the two last weeks of 2004
• maybe I hook up the projector and we can play it on the large screen with the speakers cranked
• for the full effect but patience for the right time
• it would hardly fit into the schedule now with HW and world series but
• there isn’t a game tomorrow night…
• it could even be an inventive incentive to get HW done early for some gaming fun
• I’d trade game time for TV time but
• that Nova episode on Darwin teeters precariously on the edge of extinction on my DVR
• and it behaves much better when its only 80% gorged with my TV programs
• not much more frustrating than a weeks worth of shows recorded missing the last few minutes of each
• so there will be blood, a disgorging of shows
• and I finally found something interesting to browse
• a book at ebook.nypl about influential characters that never lived
• or fictional people that have influenced us like
• the Marlboro Man to mickey mouse to Spock, now
• morphing those guys together surely would make for a fun dance partner.

Beautiful idea

Momentous clarity astounds

The bloom whithers